And I'm Super excited (for once) that I can't see the entire road ahead and am taking it all one day at a time.
I can't believe I'm actually writing this right now because it is the literal opposite of everything I know or have EVER been!
Under all this excitement is also a ton of nerves around all this uncertainty, a bit of fear and anxiety with a sprinkle of screaming that I'm out of my mind. But that last part I'm pretty used to lol.
I Created this piece to represent my mantra/intention for this year: "Be brave enough to be bad at something new". I read this somewhere some time ago and it stuck with me, it came back as I ventured into the newness of things to come and I felt that it was the perfect representation of getting out of my comfort zone.
I always say "fail forward" it's something I've lived by for a very long time but when I really think about it, it has mostly been in the more abstract sense. Try something! If it doesn't work out, that's cool because I'm all about the experience of having tried in the first place.
I've been noticing a trend where it's somehow uncool to fail or the idea/concept of failure has become the villain of our story and something to fear. What is failure if not an experience with an alternate outcome than what we expected? Did you really fail if the ending didn't meet your expectations but the journey was beautiful, filled with joy and fulfilment? Separating myself from the outcome has been a journey within itself to unlearn this habit of attaching meanings to things just to give value. Redefining value and success is definitely for another post but instead of "lowering expectations" so to speak, I place my expectation around the experience instead of placing a goalpost at the end of everything.
I usually see failure differently, but this time the fear of "failing publicly" got to me. What if I try this "thing" and it's not as good as I thought? What if I'm not as good as I thought? What if I invest all this time and money like I did before and find passion in something else later on? etc etc.
After my doubt spiral/meltdown, I got into really thinking about this. Creativity, artistic expression and personal alignment are all things that I am EXTREMELY passionate about and have been for as long as I can remember. Even as I worked my full-time job or ran my fashion business, I invested in art supplies and researched and practised my own personal development. Ever since I was a child I was always fascinated with our actions, behaviour and responses. I explored the definition of my Human Design & Gene Keys and really sat with my own Inner Voice and it became clear that I was overthinking this.
So I started having a different conversation: "what if this ends up being much better than I thought?"; "What if I'm even better than I ever imagined?"; "So what if I change my mind, that's life!"; "To the people watching, enjoy the show because I sure will!"
I'm learning to embrace the journey more and focus on the experience instead of the end result. I'm not sure where I heard this one but I'm glad it stuck with me so I can share it with you.
"Even if you try something and fail, you're still way ahead of most people because they won't try at all"
As I share my journey, I hope to inspire you to be proud of your journey, because bumps in the road make the ride more interesting. Laugh at yourself and enjoy the unexpected moments.
Remember to "Be brave enough to be bad at something new".